Fellatio seems so simple, doesn’t it? What guys like, that is. To the casual observer, male genital physiology is but one step away from tab “A into slot B” when, in fact, there’s a lot more going on down there. When we think of pleasing our male partners, we think it’s easy to do (and in some cases it’s true), but when you discover just how much pleasure he’s capable of receiving, you’ll want to leave the easy stuff to the amateurs.
Let’s begin with what comes to mind first, the penis. As you probably know, the external shaft of the penis begins just below the pubic bone. The skin over the pubic bone is usually covered with hair — it can be thick as a forest, or thin and barely-there. The skin covering the bone is generally fleshier than any of the skin surrounding it, and the fleshy mound is where the skin may begin to deepen in color as it meets up with the base of the penis.
This mound contains pressure points that can increase his arousal, and you can access them by either massaging the mound with firm, flattened fingers, or by applying pressure with your fingers continuously for one to three minutes. Try using these points during the beginning stages of arousal, or during stimulation such as a blowjob for best results.
Nature delights in deviation, and men’s penises are no exception. Penises come in more shapes, sizes and variations than mere words can communicate — though there certainly has been a lot written about them. The skin covering a man’s penis is usually darker in tone than the skin everywhere else, and smoother in texture. Colors can range from lightest pink to deepest chocolate, and can be anywhere in between. The color at the tip, (also called the head, or glans) will generally be darker, especially his circumcision scar*, and penises are seldom the same color all over.
* Most men in North America and in certain cultures outside the US are circumcised, meaning that the foreskin has been removed to expose the glans. The rest of the world is generally uncircumcised, and the foreskin is intact, covering the head with a skintight jacket of skin much like a wetsuit. It’s a very pleasureable, happy, arousable wetsuit that stretches when the penis becomes erect to become skintight as the penis extends to its full length. See also: About a penis: To cut or not to cut – Local author and filmmaker Paul Festa’s experience in an S.F. circumcision study has Violet Blue examining a sensitive debate (SF Chronicle/sfgate.com)
They also vary greatly in size, both in flaccid (soft) and erect (hard) states. The size of a man’s soft penis is not a reliable gage of his erect state. Shapes are yet another variable: he can be thick at the base and slender at the tip, wide from top to bottom, fat in head and slender in girth, or any number of combinations, and each are perfectly normal. The color, size and shape of a man’s penis has nothing to do with how he responds to stimulation — or what type of lover he is.
The penis is a long shaft, or tube that ends at the tip with the urethral opening, where urine and ejaculate (sperm, or “come”) leave the body. Inside the penis the urethra continues as a long tube through the center of two other larger tubes of spongy erectile tissue, whose proper names are corpus cavernosum and corpus spongiosum. When arousal triggers an erection, these tissues fill with blood, hardening the shaft and head of his penis. However, an erection does not always indicate if a man is aroused or not, and a man can be perfectly, happily aroused and remain unerect.
When stimulating the shaft of an erect cock, firm pressure constricting the base and sides are usually greatly appreciated. Many men like to have their penises “stroked,” not meaning that you pet it like the head of a good pet, but that you apply a gentle yet firm grip, and stroke up and down the shaft. Start at the base and give him a squeeze, gauging his reaction. Then you can begin stroking him slowly, using lube if you like or saliva from your mouth — applying it directly is highly recommended. Increase your pace as he becomes more aroused, and ask if he wants it harder or softer.
At the tip is where you’ll find the head, or glans. This is where the largest concentration of nerve endings are in the penis, and it can be very responsive to stimulation — sometimes (especially after orgasm) extremely sensitive to touch. Always ask your partner what level of stimulation works for him at any given time with the head of his cock, because his levels will change as his arousal varies during the pleasure cycle. The head is often bulbous — anywhere from slightly to quite pronounced. If he’s uncircumcised, in its soft state it will be covered in a jacket of skin called a foreskin. As his penis becomes aroused, the glans will emerge. Most men in North America are circumcised when they are still infants, a process where this skin is removed after the bundle of joy is delivered.
This nice, basic video is from Sexperience.
Beneath the head of his cock is usually the most sensitive part, and some men will claim this to be their “sweet spot,” the spot they really enjoy having touched when they’re aroused. This spot can range in location from just at the urethral opening to where the circumcision scar lies (or, where the foreskin clearly meets the shaft). When he’s excited, try massaging the area (or the entire head) with a lubricated hand, or your tongue.
Underneath the penis is where we find the scrotal sack, containing the testicles (or testicle — not all men have a pair). These are the “balls.” This wrinkly, fleshy container hangs attached to the base of the penis, and can be the same color as the penis or darker in tone. With rare exceptions, they are usually covered with a lighter covering of hair than the pubic bone, yet can be just as furry.
A man’s testicles are very sensitive to the touch, but many men enjoy having them caressed, lightly massaged, or even gently massaged or pulled during the pleasure cycle. Most men will not enjoy having them slapped or spanked — but there are exceptions, and this type of pleasure play should be expressly discussed before playtime begins.
Behind the testicles and between the thighs is a flat stretch of skin, also covered with some hair and often the same color and tone as the penis — this is his perineum. Beneath the skin of the perenium is where the root, or bulb of the penis lies, and when he becomes hard you can feel the area harden at the same time. Stroke or rub this area during other stimulation, and you will probably get a positive response. (More about anatomy, ligaments/How to touch for pleasure)
The perineum meets the anus, and it is also covered with hair. Everyone has hair down there, and if you don’t, then you either shave it or are too young to be reading this. Not all men enjoy anal stimulation — whether it’s gentle touching on the outside, rimming, or penetration — but many men love it and find it adds a new dimension to lovemaking. Ask first, and read the article on rimming if you have cleanliness concerns. One of the reasons that men like anal play is because men have a prostate gland.
This gland is inside, just behind the bulb of the penis, beneath the bladder, and can be felt (if so desired) by inserting a well-lubricated finger inside his anal opening and stroking forward. When he’s aroused, it swells and becomes firm, and it may be easier to feel it this way. For men who aren’t ready for penetration, you can still stimulate it indirectly by massaging the opening in wide, flat circles.
If you like the information you read here and want to find out even more, look for my book The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio.