Happy birthday crankypants!

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Today is my friend Crankypants’ birthday; in true Crankypants form he won’t let me take him out to dinner tonight. Harumph. He works for I think the largest sex book distributor in the world, and I’d be cranky in the pants too if I did that; us sex writers are high maintenance. I’m cranky, too — I spent hours today trying to figure out why my Logitech USB headset suddenly stopped working with my laptop; just to have it suddenly stop working with my main computer. Audio goes out through the mic, but none comes in the headphones. I hate audio today. Grrr. Plus I’m all sore, and I can’t tell if it’s from the new hip-hop dance classes I’m taking or the sex accident I had on saturday night. If my ass was a car, I drank too much and crashed my Vulva; the report from Hornboy is that I fell off the bed after the Chinese wedding. I told Thomas and he said, “Okay. That statement has now merged with the SF Fetish Ball stage show in my mind, and from now on every time I think of you I will see you doing the porn star tumble off a bondage bed from a piledriver position, with a Catholic priest presiding over it all while underage boys sing Beijing opera around you. Help!” (Did I go to the ball? No! They were rude when I called as a press inquiry. Lame.)

But to make up for the pointlessness of my day (besides doing my taxes) I added an update to the unsafe page: I started a list of responsible sex toy retailers, inlcuding newcomers South Coast Pleasure and adorable (UK) Tickled Online. Please do email me with suggestions and sites I missed; I know there are more out there. I’m also looking at the new San Francisco Wiki Directory (ess-eff.com) with a leer that should make any Wiki cross its legs in a mixture of fear and delight. This could be really cool.

In the meantime I’m drooling over the Collette Corset at Stockroom. Anyone want to trade a Logitech headset for it? Brand new, works with any computer but mine… :(

Holy baby jesus butt plug, Hornboy just gave me a trumpet! (Yes, I know the image is a baritone.)

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