Remember the fantastic trailer for Batman XXX directed by (pal) Axel Braun? Yup, that was amazing. Today I was reminded that I didn’t get to see Braun’s Batman (made for Vivid Video) and I still really want to watch it — when Hustler sent me the trailer for Braun’s next masterpiece, This Ain’t Cops XXX. Add your own irony. (I was going to write “insert irony here” but I can only hope the insertions are ironic.) I’m pleased to see that Hustler got a semi-coherent copywriter for their press release with this one, although I still want to reach through the internets and betchslap them into 2010 to get the marketing department’s dildos off the goddamn caps lock key. Subject line shouting is like guys who brag about having a big dick, but in your inbox, therefore in my face, where I want it the least. Know what I mean?
Dying media alert: Not that I think anyone should be making and selling or even buying DVDs anymore (this one comes out August 17th), but I still think they’ve got something good going on here. Here’s a snip from their PR:
There are several reasons why people love to watch the original show [COPS] that Hustler Video parodied. First of all, everyone likes to know that there’s someone out there more effed up than they are. Who doesn’t like to feel like they’re better than someone else? It only encourages self-confidence. Secondly, who doesn’t love a man—or a woman—in uniform? The power, the Tom Selleck mustache, and of course, the handcuffs. Oh yes! Bring on the handcuffs! How could anyone resist making a parody out of a show that was already straddling the line between fantasy and reality! Just leave it to Hustler Video to fulfill our every desire!
In Hustler Video’s This Ain’t Cops XXX parody, expect to be swept away by five cleverly written, witty, and of course, sinfully filthy scenes. It’s obvious the actors were genuinely enjoying their roles as men and women of the Chatsworth law enforcement. Their enthusiasm for the sex scenes, and their humorous and well-acted character roles makes the This Ain’t Cops XXX parody a film you must see this summer.
One of the funniest, well-delivered scenes in the movie might be Jack Lawrence playing the part of a police officer, while driving in his cop car (which interestingly enough actually belongs to him!). He’s talking to the camera crew, making small chat, while en route to the next scene of crime. He pulls out his ticket holder and says, “As soon as I fill this up—I have one more site to write and my wife gets a free toaster, so I’m pretty stoked about that…hey, you know what? Someone’s going three miles over the limit—they’re gonna get a ticket, the city’s gonna get some money, my wife’s gonna get a toaster. That’s just the way it goes.”
I have to wonder: who the fuck makes porn as a business but uses the word “effed” in a press release? Jeebus on a rubber donkey covered in crisco and glitter in a snowstorm. And I hope you have your time machine ready to watch the “must see” porn film of the Summer whose “street date” is late August. If you’re wondering why I’m snarky at the PR department, I’m still pissed at Hustler for giving me exclusive on PR for Who’s Nailin’ Paylin and then outsourcing their IP enforcement and trying to enforce copyright ownership on my use of the materials they sent me with permission for promo, almost getting my Flickr account shut down. Yes they were wrong, and no, no one apologized. I told them to never ever send me anything again, and they still do. I just like Braun’s work.
In case you missed it, there was a second very clever trailer made for the Batman XXX movie — and they apparently made a non-sex version of it as well (it’s 30 minutes). This was trailer #2:
