Just posted on ZDNet, my reaction to mainstream media reporting that there will be a Playboy app in the Apple App Store. A short article, full of layered references and barbs I think will make you smile:
Typical. Steve Jobs takes his liver on vacation and all hell breaks loose.
The Apple CEO and notorious sex-positive advocate is famous for saying that there will never ever be any porn in the Apple App Store ever, and that people who want that kind of sicko thing can just put on their raincoats and go to the adult bookstore where they sell Androids.
Except this morning, we woke to media fap-fap-fapping away about Playboy CEO and notorious prude Hugh Hefner Tweeting that, yes Dorothy, there will be Playboobs on the iPad.
An uncensored app? Has the world gone mad?
Not so fast, Hefster.
What he actually said and how it has been spun, and what’s really going on, are very different. Stop looking at porn in Safari on your iPad for a minute and stay with me.
Hugh Tweeted, “Big news! Playboy–both old & new–will be available on iPad beginning in March.” Through the day he’s been Tweeting, “Yes, all the back issues of Playboy will be available on iPad, & current issues as well” and “Playboy on iPad will be uncensored.”
First, there’s the notion that Playboy is actually relevant, racy and pornographic. This is up for debate, if you can stay awake long enough. Or unless extreme Photoshop is your flavor of hardcore. If so, then you are a special kind of pervert, and I admire that. (…read more, zdnet.com)
Image: Lexi Belle promo for Juliland (video here), far far far from Playboy’s consciousness.
I feel like this is a bait and switch…at least the video of Lexi Belle made up for reading this disappointment by Playboy
Blech. Bait and switch.
I’ve been looking very closely about how to bring solid, good porn to the ipad, and since the only way is to is in all HTML 5/web 2.0ish/Ajax, I say we get our UI and programming skills out and get the shit working properly and optimized on safari. I know that’s extremely sub optimal. People are trying, though. If apple is going to keep it locked, I’ll do everything I can to bring it out.
We’re taking this on where I work because it’s bullshit to not be able to have a tool like the iPad locked in this way. I hope others are too.