If I sit on my suitcase, it’ll close. That’s what I tell myself, looking at the heaping pile of clothing on top of the yawning mouth that should be my easy-trundle case. Normally, even for such a looky-loo faux-glamour event such as AVN I’d not pack as much, but (good news for people who love bad news) I got the news that my bestest friend Thomas is going to be there — and we’re doing three hours of erotic photos the minute I get in. He’s been busy as a photographer (look at his site), and he’s shooting me for (hopefully) my Suicide Girls set, book covers for a British S/M book company and general fun photos for you, dear readers. So I’m overpacked with billions of little bits of lingerie — quite comical when you think about it.
The other good news is that AVN might not be the fully dismal silicone convention after all — my pal Crankypants (remember him from when I had to entertain my French publisher?), Carol, Nina and my pal from SRL, X will be there and ready to make a possy and cause trouble with me. And I have a high-speed connection in my room (though it’s Vegas, and their version of "high-speed" might be a courier that does a lot of crank).
The lame news is that I won’t be able to blog while I’m gone, at least in the conventional sense. If regular blogging is the missionary position, we’re going to try a little oral and doggie for the next few days — I’m bringing my full podcasting rig (watch here for MP3’s), will also be podcasting from my phone, and will be photoblogging on Fotki. I fired Type Pad as a possible service and didn’t get Dreamweaver loaded on my iBook in time (with all my files, etc.), so no regular blog. Why so crazed? Well, I’m doing a benefit for the Center for Sex and Culture when I get back — on January 14, I’ll be hosting a Bad Porn Festival, and I’ve been busy editing together the worst scenes in porn I’ve ever seen. (And missing a book deadline waiting for contributors to get their shit together, you know who you are!) I’m swamped, so sorry if you’ve emailed me and I’m very, very late with a reply — don’t fret, I’ll get to my reader mail soon!
So, armed with visuals and audio, off I go into the weirdness of AVN. I leave home tomorrow at 9am, and I hope Hornboy can find something to do with my embarrasingly large porn collection while I’m gone…
