First, I won’t be updating my blog again until after the weekend — I’m about to disappear to work on the SRL event this Friday, where you can see scary and amazing things, and I’ll be interviewed as "Woman who operates deadly machines." Unless something *really amazing* happens, for the next few days I’ll be among the machines getting dirty and feeling generally at peace with a wrench in my hand.
Second, I want any Good Vibes supervisors reading this to know that we never, ever have fun in the stores like the fun you read about below in view of the customers. It only happens off the clock on our own time, or in other sex toy stores belonging to the competition. When it is slow and no customers are around, we work *even harder*.
Third, in response to a few reader emails, yes, Dita does indeed have fakers. To prove it, waltz into any Good Vibes store and look at the tags attached to any of our products from Sportsheets, such as the Tethers. There you will see early pictures of a younger, fresh-faced, A-cup Dita. One of my pals, a professional fetish model, bemoaned Dita’s boobjob in a fit of boobified cultural sadness, saying that she was the "last of the A-cup fetish models."
Fourth, more reader response: To make a highly specialized weapon out of a pocket pussy is a simple feat. But it is a deadly and sure weapon, the weapon of choice for evildoers and one-woman army-types — so you must take care that it doesn’t fall into your opponent’s hands. Remarkably devastating and packed with tacky flair, a blue cyberskin anus or lavender molded softskin pussy harnesses the powers of painful cuffing unlike the world has never seen. Plus, they’re handy and portable. And guys like to fuck them. Should anyone displease you, or try to make you ring up customers while on the clock, grasp the pocket pussy firmly by the base — away from the end you would stick your cock into, if you have one. The fucking end is the dangerous end, the weighty striking end, and you should handle the puckers and folds as if they were made of sensitive and explosive nitroglycerin. With a small degree of skill, grip the soft end and begin to swing the heavy Smurf-orifice in a circle — any technique is fine; overhand, underhand, or wildly over your head like a helicopter. If you have a battle cry, this is a fine time to use it. Advance upon your enemy, brandishing the wild swing of your now-lethal pocket pussy, inching closer to deliver stunning blows. Caution: pay special attention to the swing of your deadly pussy, as it requires slight athletic ability, and you do not want your secret weapon to accidentally take you out with a blow of painfully dense fake pussy or ass to the head.
