Nothing makes you appreciate the finer things in life than a oozy, scary piece of hate mail. I got one this weekend, from a "good Christian" who went on about the "faggot marching band," how I’m "living in sin," and how I desecrate things with "homosexuality, sex toys and who knows what else." So please indulge me, dear readers, as I engage in a little auto-cunnilingus and publish a few emails I’ve received in the past two weeks.
"Dear Violet,
Thank you for such a great website. As I attempt to navigate the world of information out there to increase my pleasure and pleasure-giving, I find that there are many more sites that are icky and uninformative (not to mention that have worms attached, etc.). So you need to receive continual praise for creating and maintaining such a legible and ‘clean’ resource for all of our curious minds.
I’ll keep reading. :)"
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(in regards to the author of She Comes First, who a reader informed me, graduated from an online sexology course the same month his book came out http://www.esextherapy.com/phdgrads.htm)
"I don’t know how much education you have and to be honest, I could care less. You’re a really good writer and it’s obvious you’re passionate about the topic you write about. You probably just learn as much as you can from as many people as you can and then pour that into your books. I’d much rather learn from someone like you than some prick with a lot of initials after his name. I understand the anger about his being backed by a big publishing house, but I’d like to point out something. One of my favorite authors is H.P. Lovecraft. He was not a success during his lifetime and never received any positive reviews. I read a piece about him that talked about the authors that did receive good reviews who have been forgotten. He’s still remembered. Your work is quality and that’s what lasts."
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(regarding my Salon.com post about She Comes First)
"The article did remind me of where I’ve gotten some of my best advice about sex and relationships, from female friends, gay or straight. I’m one of those guys who’s everybody’s buddy, the one no one wanted to date for a long, long time. I did, and do, have a lot of female friends and I guess you could call me something of a dyke hag too. My friends would talk to me about their relationships and more than a few of them talked to me about sex. Did I pay attention? Shit, I almost sat there and took notes! Your point that a gay man or lesbian often knows more about pleasing a sex partner because of their familiarity! with the equipment is very, very true.
I’m happy to say that all that listening has paid off big time. I don’t like this guy’s attitude, Violet, and when it comes down to it, I’ll refer to sexperts like you who collect information from every useful source. I guess what I’m saying is, screw this guy. Keep up the good work and take care."
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(from Paul Joannides, the author of the fabulous The Guide to Getting it On!)
"…Have you ever considered writing a general book on sex, with chapters instead of whole books on subjects like oral sex and the like?"
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"Dear Violet,
I know how busy you must be so I’ll be as brief as possible. I just found your website yesterday and it seems as if I’ve done nothing else but read all kinds of great, interesting stuff, with still tons more to explore. I am so impressed with your writing.
Your website is refreshing and you have opinions I can relate to, information that I can learn from and for crying out loud, no over-the-top dramatics. Did I mention laughing my ass off at your columns? Well, I should because your humor is very much appreciated by me. I don’t get slammed with phoniness and pop-up ads, the pictures and graphics are just the right touch and I have a pleasant experience surfing your site.
Alright, enough dribble. You have a restricted Paypal account and I want to help support your website. What can I do? Perhaps the answer could show up in one of your columns. I want to be supportive to someone who does not cater to advertisers and offers this wealth of information to the public.
Please carry on with all of the great stuff you are writing. I think you’re just terrific!
With much admiration,"
So, what do you think, folks? Should I set up an accessible Amazon wish list? I could really use some good summer book recommendations!
