If you’ve never tried adding lubrication for sex, I insist that you do so immediately. Now. In your cubicle, or wherever you’re reading this. I know that everyone within a 10-mile radius of San Francisco is thinking right now, “Sex sans lube? Barbaric!” But seriously, I really need to make a point out of this — sex is great without it (mmm, friction), but it’s slippery and slick and yummy and Nirvana-achieving when you use lube.
There are a couple reasons I’m bringing this up. One reason is that if you rubbed your mouse ever-so-carefully over the sensitive bits of my blog today, you’ll notice, well, that she’s a bit more excitable now. Eager, if you will. That’s because we’ve gone all RSS/atom on you. That’s right, now the title of each entry is a true permalink, and you can subscribe to my blog with the atom feed up above. The incredibly smart and sexy geek girl Squishy from Extra Action did it all, and there’s more in store. She’s fucking brilliant, and will be fondling/tweaking my archives, getting a real RSS podcasting page up for me, and much more. You might see a few changes to this page in the next week or two, so don’t panic. It feels gooood, and RSS is the best lube a blog could have!
But what got me going in this direction was a post I saw on Fleshbot a few days ago promoting a site that gives sex advice to the “bend over boyfriend” crowd. I was thrilled. This is a much-needed resource (and a sex act I enjoy), and I was about to crow about and link to it — until I poked around the site. It’s a well-disguised commerce site with lots of information. But the first thing I managed to read was their off-the-bat (no puns!) recommendation for anal discomfort — a link to buy Anal Eze in their shop.
I can’t even begin to count the times I’ve lectured to classes, and sat in on lectures, where the topic is brought up and hands shoot up across the room. Each student tells a horror story about using Anal Eze — bleeding, days, even weeks of recovery, humiliating trips to the doctor. So, once more, and with feeling: This product is harmful, and it should never be used. Ever.
I’ve worked with MD’s on several sections of my sex guidebooks, for good reason. And here’s what I’ve discovered about “Anal Eze,” “Good Head Gel” and “delay spray/creams.” These products contain benzocaine, a topical local anasthetic that numbs sensation and temporarily deadens nerve endings wherever it is applied. It is widely used in first aid creams and sunburn remedies and acts to block the transmission of nerve impulses that carry pain messages.
While this might sound like a novel way to avoid pain during anal sex or delay ejaculation, the truth is that these products often have unwanted side effects resulting in tissue injury, bruising and tearing. That’s *tearing*. Anal Eze numbs the anus, which is a very delicate, unlubricated orifice that needs to be able to communicate the sensations of pain and distress to avoid injury — and torn or damaged rectal tissue is a serious health issue. Oral sex gels and creams with numbing agents sound like a great way to avoid the gag reflex and be able to “deep throat” (completely swallow a penis), but do not allow your body to tell you when you need to rest and can result in bruising of the throat.
In addition, numbing of the throat makes it possible for the user to accidentally aspirate (inhale) semen, causing a lung infection. Products containing benzocaine prescribed for dental or mouth pain caution against drinking or eating for one hour after application for a good reason. Products targeted at delaying ejaculation might leave the penis sore or even abraded when the benzocaine wears off, and use of the products for vaginal or anal penetration is not recommended. Desensitizing creams in the vaginal canal may lead to irritation and infection, bruising and abrasion, and often contain oils that will break condoms.
Additionally, these products should never be used if you have a history of unusual or allergic reaction with local anasthetics. For hot anal sex, go really, really slow. Start small. Start horny. Use gallons of lube. Make sure you’re really into it. And please, please don’t numb your butt. Who wants a numb butt anyway?
