Last night Jonno gave me the keys to Fleshbot and cut me loose — I’ve been totally freaking out and shaking like an heiress’ inbred pooch ever since. He’s on his way to LA to cover the GayVN’s, and after a week of me feeding him 4-6 posts a day, with him as a sassy human filter, he’s having me take over for almost a whole week. It’s really scary; not just the extremely buggy old-world version of MT Gawker uses, but the pressure is intense. I think the chances are pretty good that I’m not quick enough on blogging celebrity nipple slips and sex tapes, mostly because they’re, like, so hot. But you do have to love it when your boss signs off his email with, “…and feel free to call if there’s an emergency or whatever (lawsuit, Lindsay Lohan bukkake video, etc.)”
You must be thinking, who is this Jonno guy and how do I know him? I first met Jonno via email when he started Fleshbot and emailed me to see if I’d be interested in offering up a quote for the then-fledgling site’s front page. Typically I’m pretty guarded about giving up quotes; while a flattering request, I often perceive it as a cheap-ass way for authors and “critics” to get their names on movie/book packaging, and I only will do it if I like the item in question (which doesn’t always make me popular). But I loved Fleshbot from the start, gave him a quote to use, and in a matter of time my quote got bumped from the front page by fancier quoters like The New York Times and Wired, whoever they are.
Anyway, I occasionally heard from Jonno in the way that frequently posting sites with connected/overlapping content do — shared links, “hey did you see this, it goes with your…” Until this year’s AVN convention. My dear, dear pal Carly had arranged a big sex writer’s dinner in Vegas for a bunch of us to meet each other, and while I met lots of people I’d only emailed with previously, two people were missing due to flight mishaps: Tristan and Jonno. Over dinner I learned from Carly that Jonno was, in fact at that very moment, sequestered in her hotel room in a robe with a bottle of something very alcoholic, tethered to a phone trying to find his lost luggage. After dinner I tagged along with Carly to her room and the meeting between Jonno and I was one of those things: the kind of instant recognition between friends, where you both swear you look familiar, finish each other’s sentences, etc. Striking. And surprising to discover at the world’s most superficial convention. The next night we found each other at a big, awful porn star party, and I wrote about the rest of my fobiles running around being fag hag for a weekend. A few things stay marked in my memory. I have many gay male friends, but Jonno is the most affectionate and warm gay friend* I’ve ever had — lots of close contact and warm hand-holds in crowds. He went out of his way to introduce me to people he really likes. And once, in a crowded taxi, the conversation went, “Oh my god, have you seen (blank)? She’s such a …” and Jonno cut him off and said, “Stop! Don’t you ever say a bad thing about a woman in my presence, ever.”
And today, sometime in the middle of the night before my first post, Jonno went and wrote (http://www.fleshbot.com/sex/other/about/meet-violet-blue-035533.php) this about me!
So now I’m the sorceror’s apprentice, and Jonno is teaching me the evil ways of Fleshbottery. Well, don’t let me do all the informing, check out this (not too recent) interview with him here.
* Why do I make this distinction? My straight male friends/family in SRL and the Marching Band are very, very affectionate with me; lots of hugging, arms around each other because we’re standing in proximity, etc. For some reason that’s missing from my relationships with gay men. (I don’t know if Michael Soldier’s parting lip-kiss after I interviewed him a few weeks ago counts, oh the tension…) But then again, the SRL/Band guys aren’t exactly your regular straight guys — in fact, not at all. There is quite an interesting history of bisexuality among the ranks of SRL men (a history always in the making, I understand), and gender/sexuality has always been fluid and a non-issue among core members. We’ve all shared near-death experiences at every show; our priorities in the way we relate are vastly different than, say, someone from Hollywood or the Marina district in San Francisco. An SRL sex map would be very amusing; Kinsey would love it. And while I don’t profess to know much about the preferences in the Marching Band, again, gender and orientation are a non-issue. I don’t know what I’m trying to say here, except that this type of open affection and acceptance is a value to me, and I’ve never experienced it in the “straight” world, and very little in my gay cirles, too. But you know, I think the word “straight” should always be in quotes anyway…
