Is this week over yet? Because I really need it to be the weekend, now. Well, technically the weekend starts tonight, that is if you live on Marching Band time — I’m going to go see them at the SF Eagle tonight because it might be the last time I get a chance before they all go to LA and play with David Byrne again at the Hollywood Bowl. And I know I have a lot of friends hoping I’ll come down there with them and like totally pretend I’m with the band and stuff and sneak into clubs with them dressed like a fetish slut and carrying someone’s horn (because I NEVER do that, ever), but I’m not going. Anguish! Why? Because it sounds like the Hollywood Bowl is a corporate nightmare of Hollywood proportions, and the least funnest thing to me sounds like going all the way to LA and getting tossed out and sitting in the Bowl parking lot trying to score drugs/alcohol/wifi hand out Scientology pamphlets to pass the time in a rubber Sailor Moon outfit. Plus, that weekend is SF Pride, and the parties are already lining up…
Speaking of Scientology, I finally found the most perfect blog post about this whole horrible Cruise/Holmes/Cthulu nightmare here. Required reading.
When we did the SRL show in LA, we were at this gallery that sat right across an alley from a huge Scientology warehouse. It had no signs on it or anything but everyone who lived across the street in the art live/work spaces knew (and everyone else in the neighborhood, even the crackheads). It was at least five (maybe six) floors of files, some sort of storage facility; you could see a little bit through the windows (no windows at street level) and naturally we were all dying to get a tour just like the ones Tom Cuise gives. For the show, we considered the possibility of hanging “Scientology warehouse” signs on the outside, just for fun. (Photo on right of me (my machine) picking up a flaming prop during the show)
Part of the reason we got to do the show there is that everyone in all the buildings had been evicted to make way for some condo developments that would (will) raze a several block area, so there was supposed to be no one around to disturb. Sadly, when we arrived late at night with truckloads of machines, we realized that the Scientologists had already moved out because there wasn’t anything up against the windows anymore. The next day we unloaded the machines at sunrise, but we didn’t have a permit to block the street on a weekday so we had to move the machines to the sides, which meant putting things in front of the Scientologists’ roll-up door. As things happen, at the exact moment the Shockwave Cannon rolled a bit too far back and dented the holy roll-up door, some of the residents arrived. Dressed impeccably in black and grey suits, three men and one woman angrily walked through to their door and started demanding to see who was in charge, telling us to move our stuff right away as they needed access immediately and that we were on their private property, etc. I hustled to move equipment out of the area as our fearless leader calmly spoke with the lady. They rolled up Hubbard’s roll-up door as she *told* him to keep everything clear of their property and alluded to property damage claims (of course). I peered inside the warehouse as I carried off a heavy load of pule jet stand braces; the warehouse was spotless and completely empty save for an immaculate forklift. (The Immaculate Forklift!)
Our leader listened to the woman until she stopped, and said “Well, we were told that everyone in this neighborhood had been evicted and cleared out, and that you guys in the Scientology warehouse were completely out of here so we thought it would be fine.” I saw the woman’s face change in a way difficult to describe, and she furiously demanded, “Who told you we were Scientologists!?” He replied, “Oh, everyone around here knows that.” Conversation over. She rounded up her well-presssed posse, they closed the door, and they left. Just like that. I was glad she didn’t rip off her human suit and eat his face.
Why is the week so horrid? I don’t know — last night Hornboy bought us tickets to go see Evil Dead Live (a live performance of the best movie in the world), and when we got there in the pouring rain, the online ticket service had charged him for two ticktes but only showed up as one in the dadabase and they would only give us one… so one of us could wait in the rush line, or… we scalped the ticket and went to a nearby bar, very disappointed. After a few beers we caught Satan’s Playground, which was quite excellent and almost gory enough to cheer me up. But I did get a happy ending of sorts (not *that* kind) from the whole bitter AVNOnline bullshit. After the fact, I found out that a Tiny Nibbles fan and friend (who now gets a lifetime of wet Violet kisses and boob-squishing hugs) wrote them a letter, stating:
“To: tony@avnonline.com; kathee@avnonline.com; jk@avnonline.com
Subject: Violet Blue is not a Porn Actress!
Are you guys crazy?
The actress in the photo here: (url to article)
Is NOT the Violet Blue of the Thrillhammer demonstration. The hot
Violet Blue of Tiny Nibbles and the Ultimate Guides looks like this:
http://www.tinynibbles.com/blogarchives/010.html
Hot hot hot, real, and cracking smart. And she’s NOT a blonde porn
actress! Can you please correct the photo?”
Here was the response from the senior editor:
“Thanks for writing! You’re right: Someone around here is crazy, and I suspect it’s a member of our website team who doesn’t realize there are TWO Violet Blues (the original and the porn star). The original Violet Blue, the one to whom you refer, actually has written for us and is quite a wit — so I hope she sees the humor in this embarrassing mistake. Thanks for pointing it out, and we’ll get it taken care of right away.”
Interesting, after the article was up for over a week with the incorrect photo, to be referred to as the original… But mind you, this email wasn’t addressed to me so they’ll just have to keep on hopin’ I see the humor in the whole thing. I think an apology would be REALLY funny, but that’s just *my* twisted sense of humor for ya. At least they finally changed it.
Neat things I found: Fafinette, Japanese Ultra Hero Blog, Like, Totally Jihad, Luxuria Music, Rubberfish
