No, “fetish dressing” does not go on a rubber salad. It’s a lecture — a short talk, really — I give to SFSI students a couple times a year. I was supposed to do exactly this at 2:00 this afternoon when I got over to the Mission District, where the UCSF Annex is, and got stuck in — Carnival. I totally forgot about it today, ugh! I got stuck in hellacious traffic with a dead phone. I stood up the students and SFSI, and now I have the fetish dressing lecture stuck in my head with no one to tell it to. So why not open source it? I pasted it in here and after the jump. Just imagine me saying it all with added giggles, a huge smile on my face, a little blushing when I talk about corsets, and occasional fearful/bemused looks shot at Thomas when he heckles me, and me heckling him back for being the house expert on corpse-fucking.
Image via. Dirtier ballet boot images here.
* * * * * * *
When someone has a dressing fetish, an manner of dress, uniform, fabric or feeling inspired by the outfit or garment takes on a magical quality, has deeper meaning, and is often required for satisfying sexual release. The item or outfit is that person’s most reliable sex toy, and as we all know when it comes to coming, when you find something that works, you mine it for all it’s worth. There seldom is a rational explanation as to why a particular person is attracted to a certain pair of shoes, wearing restrictive and beautiful corsets, ot the smell, feel and look of rubber.
Fetish fashion, and its refined connoisseurs, makes a couture designer’s obsessions seem trite. Leather, shiny rubber, PVC, plastics, liquid latex, corsets, stilettos and fantastically high heels, stockings and more all occupy this highly sexualized realm of style. Fetish fashion is a huge worldwide industry, especially in North America and Europe, and the sexuality inherent in “fetish” blends with S/M practices and Gothic style — and it’s a common to see fetish events that are also S/M play parties. For the moneyed rubberist, corset-wearer or hard-core human animal fetishist, the fashion has become a fetish unto itself—the women at San Francisco’s renowned corset house Dark Garden have told me tales of fetishists who have custom-made rubber suits for every imaginable occasion, including a rubber undertaker’s suit. Fetish balls and conventions are typically high-fashion events with strict dress codes that embrace a wide variety of fetishes—as long as they dress to the nines.
Corsets and Corset Training The old-fashioned Victorian corset has seen some truly breathtaking updates in the past 50 years. The feel of being laced, the restriction of motion and the hourglass shape the corset gives are powerful to a corset fetishist. Some may like to wear, see them being worn, or undergo corset training, where a corset or worn for extended periods, changing the permanent shape of the waistline.
Gender-Specific Clothing Some people get hot looking at, wearing, masturbating with or having your wear gender-specific clothing. This means something typically worn by men, such as a necktie or boxer shorts, or something typically worn by women, like stockings, bra, garters, panties, dresses, skirts and so on. Some people get pretty focused on a particular item, and you both might wind up playing with a jockstrap, a sweaty white sportsbra, or white cotton panties.
Panties More than just a gender-specific item of clothing, panties hold a special reverence for many people, making this fetish one of the most common around. Looking up skirts, getting glimpses, touching, smelling, being smothered, having them stuffed in the mouth like a gag, stealing and masturbating with panties can all be exciting for panty fetishists.
Rubber/Leather Rubber and leather fetishists are a refined breed. These people eroticize the smell, feel and look of rubber garments and rubber isolation suits and masks. The rubber is worn by the fetishist or put on their lover, and might be sexualized in dozens of creative ways, including bondage, inflation (filling with air) and isolation, where the senses are taken away by masks, breathing is through tubes, and the whole body is encased in layers of specially made tight rubber garments and mummy bags. Some just think wearing or seeing a rubber dress, corset or tight-fitting shiny material is really arousing.
Shoes Shoe fetishists are another more common breed than the rest. Sarah Jessica Parker and her 1000’s of Manolo’s aside, shoe fetishists typically have a particular type of shoe that they fetishize, and may collect them to look at or masturbate with, get aroused when another person wears them, might want you to do something with the shoes while they masturbate (such as put a shoe in their mouth or step on him or her with the shoes), may want to have your regular style of sex while one of you is shoe-clad, or might just get turned on when you wear a certain pair of your own shoes.
In relationships, fetishes can cause problems when the fetishist feels bad about keeping a secret, when the fetish interferes with other parts of the fetishist’s life, and when the fetishist’s partner finds the fetish disturbing, distasteful — or worse, sees the fetish as competition. Some people with fetishes can’t come unless their fetish is involved somehow, and that may make a lover feel inadequate.
For the Fetishist:
* Explain exactly what turns you on about your fetish so your lover can utilize the information to the utmost.
* Split your attention between your fetish and your lover. Err on the side of giving him or her more attention than the fetish. Do not behave selfishly.
* Do everything you can think of to avoid having your lover feel threatened by your fetish.
* Trade sexual pleasure for your fetish. Get your partner off in whatever way they like best.
* Be a good lover. Your fetish is just another sex toy for you both to share.
* Be supportive. Tell your lover how hot they look, how aroused they make you feel, and afterward tell them that things they did that made you see stars.
* Remember that you’re not alone. Your lover wants to be there for you. And there are support groups and message boards for virtually every obscure fetish community on the Internet.
For the Partner of the Fetishist:
* Find out in as specific detail as you can what turns him or her on about the fetish item, object or predicament. Ask questions: do you rub the shoe all over their body, wear it, make them eat from it, or crush things with it?
* Have the fetishist show you what he or she likes to do when they masturbate.
* Let him or her know whether or not their fetish turns you on. If it doesn’t, be prepared to tell them how you expect him or her to bring you to orgasm in exchange. Don’t let it be a one-way street, or you will feel resentful.
* If you’re in a love relationship, actively seek out elements of the fetish that excite or arouse you. You may discover you like having so much power and control over their orgasm, that you get turned on by sitting in cheesecake, or that you just like to see them get so sexually worked up.
* Push it. Do they get wet or hard at the sight of rubber panties? Tease them, taunt them, rub it in their face, make their arousal as excruciating as possible before you give them what they want. Work it!
* Fetishists that like having something rubbed on them can be disallowed to masturbate while you rub them with the object, and you can take your time masturbating them to orgasm.
* Know your limits and boundaries. If it’s too strange, tell them, and talk about it. Don’t ever do anything you feel uncomfortable about or might feel bad about later.
* If it’s not working for you, don’t force it.
* Some fetishes will only involve images, photographs or videos. This is a great opportunity for hand jobs or fun sexual positions.
* Be open to new and unusual experiences and playful about sex. It’s like being able to play like a kid all over again, but between consenting adults—who can think of sexy twists and turns to make playtime red-hot.
* Know that you’re not alone, not by a long shot. There are thousands of fetishists out there, possibly thousands with your lover’s fetish, and you can seek out web communities and message boards for support. And you’re one of many people whose lover has a fetish.
