Update: ‘Hope you starve’ lady speaks out

Update, May 25: Merrill has taken down the post I referenced below, but has a new post (with one of my CC-licensed photos) called Violet Blue’s Torture Threats saying a lot of interesting things about my ‘cult followers’ (!), but also claiming the the photos SFGate ran with my Thursday column — one in her post — are a personal threat directed at her. The column is about my Tuesday visit and tour to local fetish manufacturer and retailers Madame S and Mr. S Leathers. I took this Flickr set and shot this video, but I’m waiting to do a full post on it here until after my Fleshbot exclusive gallery goes up this weekend. More updates after the jump, as readers weigh in on the headers I posted. Also, I’ve gotten some emails intended to intimidate me, claiming to provide evidence as to the alleged impersonation and email hijacking with Merrill’s first email — my calls today to two different police departments (looking for an officer who did not, in fact, exist) combined with the new post on her blog make this seem like one crazy mess. None of the claims here add up; instead of making a factual case explaining how I’m wrong on her blog, she’s invented a new threat.

Why am I feeding the trolls? Well, first because I keep finding posts like this and this when I Google her name. Also because this person, though obviously going through a very difficult time, has tried to intimidate me in a variety of ways. Perhaps she was indeed spoofed, which I can’t quite find a sane thread of evidence to bear out, but her harassing emails, legal threats and now claims that my new column is somehow directed at her make me see a pattern of intimidation — making me want to see what happens when you face down online intimidation. What has happened since the contested original email was sent is a whole new issue. Reminds me a lot of Michael Crook, except it’s about sex. To me, sex has been used very interestingly here. It was the reason I got the first threatening email. The death threat email was explicitly sexual. Then, in the sixth email I got from Merrill (of the 8 she sent me on the 24th), she wrote,

“I am truly shocked at your feeling it necessary to post any e-mail that offends you. As I’ve posted on my blog, we all receive offensive e-mails and we don’t’ go around trying to smear someone over it. If I went around trying to get revenge against all the offensive e-mails I’ve received via spam, it would take a lifetime. Why me? I work at a top law firm and live a conservative life. Why did you have to attack me over so wanting to find guilt in someone else?

If you do not remove this information, I will consider it a form of “S&M” you have in your article today in which you want me in some kind of sexual bondage to you for another’s offensive e-mail.”

So, sex comes back in again, this time in another context — where I am a perpetrator. Her next move was to put up the now-removed post (conveniently simultaneously sent to me in pdf form) where she seems to be saying any case against me would be assured in her favor because I’m associated with sex (specifically fetish and BDSM). Perpetuating the mindset that sexual association automatically discounts someone as a person. Like, it matters less if a hooker dies than a schoolteacher (though I’ll argue these days sometimes there’s crossover employment opportunities between the two). Now, the sexual thread is in her now-current post, where she conflates my new column as a threat, making me a perpetrator again.

It’s interesting to me, the intersections of sex and online intimidation and harassment. In this instance, sex been used as a tool to shame (and threaten) the entire time — this is, without fail, how sex is used online against women. I wonder how different it would have gone if Merrill were male, regardless of whether she sent the original email. At any rate, I’m ready for sexual intimidation to stop being an effective tool against women, regardless of the context. Sex is normal. And I think it’s important to start chasing down people who intimidate online. Sometimes I’ll be right and sometimes I’ll be wrong, but I’ll never be intimidated.

/update

Cheryl Merrill — the name on the starvation email, etc — says that someone is impersonating her and hijacked her email address and that she didn’t send the original email. But if you look at the headers below it certainly looks like they were sent from the same DSL account with login, and the same email program. I’ve also included the most recent email from her of the *seven* she’s sent me today (the last sent from a different email address), where she says she’s going to sue me. Oh, and don’t miss her blog post where she says, “Attorneys would love to take on this case of the S&M Diva into whips, sadistic sex toys and leather who wants to punish some premenopausal jazz singer who hasn’t sung in 20 years.”

Feel free to email me with suggestions on this one. Anyone at SBC wanna see who actually owns this DSL account?

* * * * * * *

Updates from readers:

Violet,

if you look to these two headers:

received: from unknown (HELO brainchannels2) (brainchannels@sbcglobal.net@71.146.141.71 with login)

Received: from unknown (HELO brainchannels2) (brainchannels@sbcglobal.net@71.146.156.98 with login)

It just tells you two things:
– they are posted from two different static dsl routers (so two different locations), which means potentially two different people.
– or they are posted from the same router with a dynamic ip but you cannot prove it nor SBC who cannot keep track of these assignments.
– the password for the brainchannel account may be compromised and used by different people at different locations.

I was just intrigued by the security aspects of this situation and I am trying to say you cannot prove based on the headers at hand that only one person could have sent these different emails.
So maybe both of you have been setup.

I enjoy reading your blog and I am just offering my anonymous contribution before this situation gets out of hands.

Good luck,

*

I looked at it, and I seriously doubt it’s a forgery. First, the header
structure checks out with the format normally created by IncrediMail,
and even the version number and build numbers match. This would require
either a copy of this woman’s headers (at minimum) and a good working
knowledge of SMTP or for the other person to be using both the same
version and build as her. In addition, both emails were generated from
the same SBC/AT&T netblock – which shows up as part of one of SBC’s
dynamic IP pools. Technically, that’s forgeable, but it’s a real stretch.

Under the circumstances, I suspect that this woman is not too well
hinged. Take care of yourself.

Consider this partial payback on the good turn you did myself and my
wife by making Open Source Sex #16….

/updates — thank you readers!

The first email and header:

Delivered-To: missviolet@gmail.com
Received: by 10.100.107.9 with SMTP id f9cs200775anc;
Thu, 17 May 2007 10:44:26 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.90.51.17 with SMTP id y17mr961653agy.1179423866044;
Thu, 17 May 2007 10:44:26 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: 
Received: from griva-3.sfgate.com (griva-3.sfgate.com [66.35.240.32])
by mx.google.com with ESMTP id 27si4380902wra.2007.05.17.10.44.24;
Thu, 17 May 2007 10:44:25 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 66.35.240.32 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of brainchannels@sbcglobal.net)
DomainKey-Status: good (test mode)
Received: from dagda.sfgate.com ([66.35.242.221])
by griva-3.sfgate.com with esmtp (Exim 4.43)
id 1Hok1X-0001ay-3v; Thu, 17 May 2007 10:44:24 -0700
Received: from [66.35.240.32] (helo=griva-3.sfgate.com)
by dagda.sfgate.com with esmtp (Exim 3.22 #1)
id 1Hok1U-0006f7-00
for violetblue@sfgate.com; Thu, 17 May 2007 10:44:20 -0700
Received: from smtp111.sbc.mail.mud.yahoo.com ([68.142.198.210])
by griva-3.sfgate.com with smtp (Exim 4.43)
id 1Hok1T-0001aa-37
for violetblue@sfgate.com; Thu, 17 May 2007 10:44:19 -0700
Received: (qmail 91264 invoked from network); 17 May 2007 17:44:18 -0000
DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; q=dns; c=nofws;
s=s1024; d=sbcglobal.net;
h=Received:X-YMail-OSG:MIME-Version:Message-Id:Date:Content-Type:X-Mailer:From:X-FID:X-Priority:To:Subject;
b=aUp5ot24Duc9i0onaK/ub+DH6sJRcA/0ChoLwegbDlhNpvSwWPmdL5Xk9BkHuL1XnG2zL+geyylBCN1WUZv3wvKLT3tYF76aigCT2yVpUA39WF9x/VpOvHSHyK1jMB5CzSd/jqX3CnQu/trVzYCnAlnBRa7Gi26EvsNZ3YLFdRs=  ;
Received: from unknown (HELO brainchannels2) (brainchannels@sbcglobal.net@71.146.141.71 with login)
by smtp111.sbc.mail.mud.yahoo.com with SMTP; 17 May 2007 17:44:16 -0000
X-YMail-OSG: vhP2.vIVM1nJWnhY3Lwr7G5eFMXQXroDjfGmkgZc5lmueEuQygaxUI_KFcclXFK8vyXOWzcQYQ--
MIME-Version: 1.0
Message-Id: <464C946D.000003.05132@BRAINCHANNELS2>
Date: Thu, 17 May 2007 10:44:13 -0700 (Pacific Daylight Time)
Content-Type: Multipart/related;
type="multipart/alternative";
boundary="------------Boundary-00=_P957G6G0000000000000"
X-Mailer: IncrediMail (5312750)
From: "brainchannels@sbcglobal.net" 
X-FID: FLAVOR00-NONE-0000-0000-000000000000
X-Priority: 3
To: 
Subject: Your Man's Cock Stinks

You are a dirty, nasty little cunt whore.

May the honey bees die and you and the bastards who lick your dirty
little snatch and pound your cunt endlessly die of starvation for lack
of food.

I'd truly enjoy your starvation.

Sincerely,
Cheryl Merrill

The next email I received from her where she claims someone stole her address, with headers:

Delivered-To: missviolet@gmail.com
Received: by 10.100.107.9 with SMTP id f9cs739800anc;
Thu, 24 May 2007 08:43:30 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.100.195.10 with SMTP id s10mr1613527anf.1180021410455;
Thu, 24 May 2007 08:43:30 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: 
Received: from griva-3.sfgate.com (griva-3.sfgate.com [66.35.240.32])
by mx.google.com with ESMTP id 3si1214691wrs.2007.05.24.08.43.27;
Thu, 24 May 2007 08:43:30 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 66.35.240.32 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of brainchannels@sbcglobal.net)
DomainKey-Status: good (test mode)
Received: from dagda.sfgate.com ([66.35.242.221])
by griva-3.sfgate.com with esmtp (Exim 4.43)
id 1HrFTK-0001b9-0f; Thu, 24 May 2007 08:43:26 -0700
Received: from [66.35.240.32] (helo=griva-3.sfgate.com)
by dagda.sfgate.com with esmtp (Exim 3.22 #1)
id 1HrFTI-0004R2-00
for violetblue@sfgate.com; Thu, 24 May 2007 08:43:24 -0700
Received: from smtp101.sbc.mail.mud.yahoo.com ([68.142.198.200])
by griva-3.sfgate.com with smtp (Exim 4.43)
id 1HrFTG-0001ai-Lr
for violetblue@sfgate.com; Thu, 24 May 2007 08:43:23 -0700
Received: (qmail 49126 invoked from network); 24 May 2007 15:43:20 -0000
DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; q=dns; c=nofws;
s=s1024; d=sbcglobal.net;
h=Received:X-YMail-OSG:MIME-Version:Message-Id:Date:Content-Type:X-Mailer:From:X-FID:X-Priority:To:Subject;
b=uq96kKkaHTxQtdmWHijybTfCJQydONeAvRWYjHCAAxiNqBNwt48oCTcqJUf5+MyUe1Gchq2SP0HSP+6sOGPfSoqR2nYgQH2xiuDstiJe+Nro+a98y5iLCEiG+pxKrHbCZhZfw4RKHVIysOLjsnYA4G+Rpk95nWJhet8ftwyAbPM=  ;
Received: from unknown (HELO brainchannels2) (brainchannels@sbcglobal.net@71.146.156.98 with login)
by smtp101.sbc.mail.mud.yahoo.com with SMTP; 24 May 2007 15:43:18 -0000
X-YMail-OSG: ci.D7CcVM1nWSJNnfFMJUaZAGSUHbETfHjiCa_tVvR3LlBR4ApFmfpOMiQfiFmTJYAFsoppggtLJ5iakB43mEAY.AGwRBuO8L1iScNKmNgNvEwu._kzESlIxk9xJYg--
MIME-Version: 1.0
Message-Id: <4655B28E.000009.01216@BRAINCHANNELS2>
Date: Thu, 24 May 2007 08:43:11 -0700 (Pacific Daylight Time)
Content-Type: Multipart/related;
type="multipart/alternative";
boundary="------------Boundary-00=_YBYJMY50000000000000"
X-Mailer: IncrediMail (5312750)
From: "brainchannels@sbcglobal.net" 
X-FID: FLAVOR00-NONE-0000-0000-000000000000
X-Priority: 3
To: 
Subject: Fw: Your jazz singing!

Dear Violet:  I understand someone sent you the e-mail below
under my e-mail address.  I've let your friend know that it
wasn't from me.  There's a criminal named Joe Utman who got
my e-mail address from Craigs List and he does this type of
thing to his victims  He's sent e-mail to the Mayor under my
email address as I get these responses from the Mayor's
office to them.

I have networked with a witness to his activities, a Jeff Adams,
CPA whose career was threatened by him as well and will have
him forward you an e-mail attesting to the fact this guy
sporadically send out e-mails of this nature under others'
e-mail names.

I'm sorry you received such a disparaging e-mail, but it wasn't
from me.  I certainly couldn't imagine someone putting their
real name and e-mail in such a particular kind of content.

Best regards,
Cheryl Merrill

The most recent email and header from a different email address:

Delivered-To: missviolet@gmail.com
Received: by 10.100.107.9 with SMTP id f9cs785971anc;
Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:28 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.70.23.2 with SMTP id 2mr3321068wxw.1180069708068;
Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:28 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: 
Received: from griva-3.sfgate.com (griva-3.sfgate.com [66.35.240.32])
by mx.google.com with ESMTP id m6si2417995wrm.2007.05.24.22.08.26;
Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:28 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: neutral (google.com: 66.35.240.32 is neither permitted nor denied by best guess record for domain of studiosinger@mac.com)
Received: from dagda.sfgate.com ([66.35.242.221])
by griva-3.sfgate.com with esmtp (Exim 4.43)
id 1HrS2J-00044M-Lx; Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:25 -0700
Received: from [66.35.240.32] (helo=griva-3.sfgate.com)
by dagda.sfgate.com with esmtp (Exim 3.22 #1)
id 1HrS2H-0006FO-00
for violetblue@sfgate.com; Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:21 -0700
Received: from smtpout.mac.com ([17.250.248.182])
by griva-3.sfgate.com with esmtp (Exim 4.43)
id 1HrS2G-000444-Tr
for violetblue@sfgate.com; Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:21 -0700
Received: from webmail036 (webmail036-s [10.13.128.36])
by smtpout.mac.com (Xserve/smtpout12/MantshX 4.0) with ESMTP id l4P58JQG001462
for ; Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:19 -0700 (PDT)
Date: Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:18 -0700
From: Cheryl Merrill 
To: violetblue@sfgate.com
Message-ID: 
Subject: My Updated Blog Post & Additional Info
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/mixed;
boundary="----=_Part_201_4426240.1180069698881"
X-Originating-IP: 71.146.139.119
Received: from [71.146.139.119] from webmail.mac.com with HTTP; Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:18 -0700
X-Brightmail-Tracker: AAAAAA==
X-Brightmail-scanned: yes

------=_Part_201_4426240.1180069698881
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="ISO-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Ms. Blue:  Attached is the updated blog post today in PDF form. I will
soon be taking it down but wanted you to have it for your attorney
to read when I sue you for slander and defamation.