This is one of my most favorite interviews, ever: today’s SF Gate / Chronicle column is The Sex Columnist Meta-Universe. The openness, honesty and sharp articulate observations Rachel Kramer Bussel has about the state (and future) of sex columns is *amazing*. Note: she never, ever wrote an abbreviated version of the word “fuck” — that’s the SF Gate’s prudishness in being unable to publish even a quoted version of that very scary word. There’s a lot of great info here (and it’s a long piece); I’ve been waiting to do this topic for a while, and Rachel nails it. Snip:
VB: what do you think is the future of the sex column? Does technology and blogging/self-publishing play a role?
RKB: I think blogging and the ability to instantaneously respond to news items has changed the way we approach all media. We’re seeing people talking back to columnists, and going much further in the sexual realm than most papers, even alternative weeklies, will publish. I’m surprised more papers aren’t having people do what you’re doing with an online only column, and to be honest, I read almost all the media I do read online, and plenty of other people do, too, so I don’t know what’s stopping them.
I think “Sex and the City” did a real disservice to the sex column, because it stemmed from the idea that all these columns are cults of personality, where people are breathlessly awaiting the author’s next erotic move, like sex is a game to be played. At the same time, I think there’s something to be said for having a really strong personal voice instead of an omniscient tone, because at the end of the day, no one knows everything about sex, we all have things we can learn.
VB: What are you most excited about in regard to sex writing in general right now?
RKB: I’d really like to see smart sex writing, writing that can take sex apart and try to put it back together, that doesn’t just put a box around “sex writing” and give it glaring neon lights but assumes that sex is part of everything else in our lives. I think some of the best sex writing is going to come from the unexpected sources, not the same old same old. Like I’d love to see a memoir by a submissive man, because we’ve seen one from a professional submissive and dommes and strippers and hookers. I’d love to see more men writing frankly, not jokingly, about sex.
I just finished putting together “Best Sex Writing 2008,” which will be out in December, and I’m so proud of it, not only because it’s my first nonfiction anthology, but also because it takes sex apart and brings readers to unexpected places. I think I can safely say it’s nothing like what you’d expect from a “sex column” per se, and includes work originally published on parenting site Babble.com as well as work from sex worker mag $pread, Jewish mag Heeb, and an anthology about weddings called Altared. (That piece is on sex on the wedding night.) I like sex writing that makes me think, makes me cringe, makes me angry, makes me look at it in a new way.
I also really don’t like the idea that we are all talking to each other. I totally value the sex writing community I’m part of and the sites that are furthering that, like The Peeq and The Sex Carnival, but sometimes I wonder if we aren’t preaching to the choir and alienating others in the process. I want my work to be as inclusive as possible, because sex isn’t just for some selected group of people, it’s for everyone, and I’m open to reading about and learning from all kinds of folks, including Joan Sewell, who wrote a memoir called “I’d Rather Eat Chocolate,” about her low libido, to Paul Coughlin, who wrote “No More Christian Nice Guy.” I’m not saying I agree with those books 100 percent, but they opened my eyes to new ideas, and I value that. I am as sex-positive as the next perverted bisexual liberal, but I don’t think sex-positivity should be solely the domain of any political party or that it means policing others’ sexuality or judging it. There’s no “better than” or “less than,” if that makes sense. Ironically, I guess what I’m saying is that I’d like to see some kind of “Married, Not Dead” column that was actually good. Where sex within marriage, within long-term monogamous relationships, wasn’t treated as a joke or punch line or gender-roled cliche, but something that grows and morphs and transforms people.
Link.
