Everyone has concerns about pornography. Many of us are told that there are very serious and scary problems, and consequences, associated with watching and enjoying porn.
Some of us will look at one pornographic video and see something offensive, and never want to watch porn again. It’s true that everyone has concerns, and there is something out there to offend everyone.
But most women don’t know that their concerns can help them find accurate answers about what they’ve seen, and find explicit visual stimulation that does not compromise their ethics or morals. The viewing choices in porn are many.
If you don’t know anything about modern pornography, are feeling unsure, or are feeling morally at odds with an aspect of sex, pornography can bring up powerful feelings.
Pornography is about something very personal and intimate to the viewer, so it can touch on issues that can be intense. Especially for us women. Unfortunately, our ability to understand our feelings and understanding of pornography is often clouded by misinformation from pundits who suggest that academic research is being cited — where instead it is anecdotal “research” (not peer-reviewed), and from questionably funded sources.
Much like old myths (that people accepted as fact) that masturbation caused blindness and that women did not have the physical capacity to enjoy sex, a few modern myths exist about pornography:
- Porn Makes Men Into Rapists, Makes Men Sexually Aggressive, and Turns Men Into Child Molesters
- Porn Degrades Women
- Porn Is For The Emotionally Stunted
- Porn Is Desensitizing: Porn Makes You Numb
- Porn Addiction
Be Concerned, Be Smart
The truth is, most porn from mainstream sources isn’t made with quality, thoughtfulness, sexual intelligence, or love. But many smart, educated and tech-savvy people are changing that, and it’s toppling the porn industry dynamics — and its economics. It is the sexual “omnivore’s dilemma.” If our porn concerns us, we must buy it from people who are ethical. And so we are.
It’s up to us to confront our concerns and find out if there’s any truth to them. We need facts to save us from any actual harm — or the myths will become harmful.
We must understand what people are saying when they claim porn harms and encourage real talk about degradation, violence against women, and porn addiction.
Shaming people for having sexual interest and women who watch porn will not help anyone. It’s not that you have desire, it’s what you do with it.
