Please discipline Codegirl and make her code very difficult AJAX

Image by Dave Ward Photography from his Ten Years of the iMac set.

Sounds like Codegirl will do much more than come *to* your office. SF Craiglsist ad, reposted in full in case it gets pulled because it’s posted in resumes — it’s just TOO awesome (Thanks, Justin!):

I have needs at work like all of us girls do. For me, I don’t want to be a girl dropped into the coding pit to be awed and then broken by Senior PHP engineers wielding grim and terrible caching weapons. Rails engineers by the thousands marching, marching against everyone, on every border while I draw well water shot through with ponderings of the scalability issues with PHP, and how for form to exist in our physical universe it must be have a name. If matter or a form cannot be named, it cannot exist.

I don’t want to fight sexy ATG boys about AJAX performance within droplets, I don’t want to bicker in the morning concerning why JQuery is the proper and correct framework, all the time everytime. It’s ok. I love you guys. I do. I worship you Warcraft playing, contract working, hordes of luscious web men. I know what you love. I want to be there for you.

I will code the HTML you don’t want to. It’s ok. I don’t mind. I like it. I will code it handcuffed if you want. It’s ok. If I’m too slow, or if you check and my adhering to standards is inappropriate or my fumbling, adolescent understanding of the finer point of JSON infuriate you, you can tear my stockings. They were expensive, and I bought them for work. They were my only pair. I am a humble code girl.

Do you need me to do the Apache configs? Ok. I will. I will do anything. I will wear backseam black stockings and rack servers for you. I will wear long skirts and ballet flats and sit close to you and put Arby’s sauce on your Roast Beef. I will eat what you order for me.

What makes codegirl the most happy is working in the service of many codeboys at once. A studio full of codeboys are always in need of support to keep them at their best. You need fruit. You need soda. You need me to cook for codeboys each day for lunch Naked.

I want to learn lots about coding. I secretly want to overtake codeboys and steal their knowledge, but the deep training and sensitivity of codeboys make it impossible to deceive them. They know. So, I must answer phones at times, or take care of office chores. They know I don’t like it. I do a good job, but they must discipline me to make me strong.

Codegirl can come to your office. (Please discipline codegirl and make her code very difficult AJAX, sfbay.craigslist.org)