Last saturday after 8 hours at UCSF sex ed, I squeezed into rubber and went to The Art of Restraint at Femina Potens, an exclusive, private evening of interactive bondage and erotic performance art. It’s a benefit for the communities and artists; please donate to FP if you enjoy the media. I had a great time! I also managed to turn a not-work-safe event into a safe-for-work column and photo gallery for the SF Chronicle / SF Gate. No small feat.
* Here is my small, partly liveblogged gallery on Flickr.
* Here is the extremely explicit, uncensored gallery of the evening’s intense events, including my participation.
Here’s a snip from Eyes Wide Open – Violet Blue: A night of pure erotic decadence at The Art of Restraint:
Walking into a San Francisco art gallery under strict arrival instructions for the exclusive event Art Of Restraint (and wearing a rubber skirt in 80-degree heat so I’d “fit in”) had me feeling a lot like Eliza Doolittle. Knowing it was private, expensive, RSVP only — a quarterly “night of erotic decadence” for a privileged set — kept me reminded that I was about to see how the “other half” lived out their debaucherous fantasies. Turns out, I did more than just watch.
The taxi was late because evidently despite the fact that San Francisco is Baghdad By The Bay and it’s posited by Bill O’Reilly that everything here runs on sex conspiracies, Luxor actually has no respect for timely arrival to bondage events. Doors almost closing, I rushed down the red carpet and into the sanctuary of Femina Potens (feminapotens.org). The door shut behind me with a sort of finality, and with the windows papered over, I instantly realized I was a literal kid-in-a-candy-store snow globe of Eros and erudite pervery. Extremely well-dressed people mingled, sipped, and nibbled from chocolate and fruit platters circulating the room. The space was bedecked (bedicked?) with large phallic sculpture; women bound in little more than rope and high heels rushed around waiting on guests, DJs played Portishead and downtempo music — and I was dictated stringent rules about conduct and photography. These people had thought of everything and some of the guests were wealthy, known, and wanted to stay anonymous. I felt sheepish, nerdy, inexperienced, and shy. Good thing I had a camera.
The Art Of Restraint is a quarterly benefit for Femina Potens and the queer (LGBT) community it serves to represent. The main purpose is to provide an evening of erotic decadence inclusive to the queer and kink community, where the walls between artist and audience are nonexistent and preconceived ideas about bondage — and art — are deconstructed, and people have unrestrained (ahem) fun. It’s ritzy, has a vibe like “Eyes Wide Shut” — like the sexy party scenes but without the sex — and it’s a formal affair. Except for the girls wearing nothing but rope and clothespins, that is. But I guess that’s its own kind of formality. Like a kinky cocktail salon for the elite. And elite nerds, apparently.(…read more, sfgate.com)
Sometimes self-deprecating doesn’t even work… in an art review I once mentioned that I wasn’t invited to the after-party for an exhibition in order to not seem like I was gloating at the privilege of having attended at all, and a commenter told me to “get over the invitation slights.” Internauts can be so cruel!
But my real reason for posting here is: the photos with Madison Young bound up in an intricate balance of big rocks is probably the most interesting and beautiful bondage I’ve ever seen. So it’s a good thing you elite SF sex pro WAS invited, so we could see it … Amazing!
Looks like everyone was having a fun, happy time there. Always a pleasure to see :-)
Eric’s wrong. Period. I’ve gotten the same criticism for some of my writing, and so I understand what you’ve done here. Don’t get me wrong – nobody is inviting me to sexy parties where beautiful people tie each other up, but I write about the things I do, and I enjoy the things I do, and when that joy comes across in my writing it can be construed as “Here’s a cool thing I did that you didn’t do. Hardy har.”
The best way for the writer to avoid that is a little self-deprecating humor; and talking about being nervous and shy, having the rules explained to you, and wanting to run back to your computer pulled that off perfectly. It humanized the author, put the reader in your shoes, and helped us see things from your perspective. From that angle alone, it’s a very well done article.
Oh, and just for the record? Elaborate bondage isn’t my personal thing, but Image 127 in the Fokti gallery (the one where she has the scissors in her teeth) is fucking hot. Thanks. ;-)
I think it was a great read.
I read the entire article on sfgate.com… What a thrilling experience! Lovely article. Thank you for transporting us to a time and place and happening most of us are not likely to participate in ourselves. Keep up the good work Violet!
nah, not gloating but I appreciate the crit and observation. I just got a chance to go to something that I ordinarily couldn’t afford and had a great time and unlike most private events they allowed me to take pictures and write about it. I just wanted to bring everyone along for the ride.
Violet,
This article reeks of “I’m part of the pro-sex elite in SF. Here’s what us fancy people do.” I normally like your writing but this sounded more like gloating.