Yet another image by Ellen Von Unwerth via shoosya.
With excellent questions, Em and Lo pulled my top-level kissing tips and kissing FAILs out to put on The Sundance Channel’s website in How not to kiss like a zombie and other helpful kissing tips. They asked to do an interview because they loved my new kissing book (YAY!), and I hope you get some fun inspiration out of this:
Violet Blue has written about a zillion books on the subject of sex, but finally there’s one you can discuss with your grandmother: Seal It with a Kiss: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Delivering the Knockout Kiss. Seeing as the national smooch holiday is almost upon us, we thought we’d check in with Violet for some of her best snogging advice.
Em & Lo: Do you think good kissing chemistry is a reliable indicator of good sexual chemistry And is the reverse true, if the kissing is bad, do you think the sex is likely to be bad?
Violet Blue: When we first kiss, it’s often the moment we know — instantly — whether or not we “click” with someone’s chemistry. Our senses are fully engaged, and we’re truly drinking in everything; sight, taste, smell, feel, the sounds, the essence of the person we’re quite literally tasting. There are parts of us taking in and reacting to the person we’re kissing that we’re not even aware of, let alone in control of. It’s exciting! So if we can shut off our brains for a minute and listen to our bodies and intuition, kissing is a very reliable barometer for knowing if it’s going to be hot — or not.
Em & Lo: If you want to deliver the first kiss, how can you tell that it’ll be welcome?
Violet Blue: Besides asking sweetly? Well if you’re one of the lucky few who “just know” then you are indeed lucky, but if you’re like the rest of us, you’ll want to look for concrete signs and signals. When you’re ready to move in for the kiss, look to the lips to see if they’re clamped together and uninviting, or relaxed and ready for a kiss. See if the other person is unconsciously (or consciously) imitating your body language; mirroring means they’re ready to follow your lead. And check to see if they’re in close physical proximity, closer than ordinary. People who are desiring physical contact will gravitate to you, and place themselves a step closer than would be typical for acquaintances.
(…) Em & Lo:What’s your favorite first kiss tip or tips?
Violet Blue: A first kiss with a bit of flavor: right after nibbling on mint leaves, a delicious roast of coffee, the essence of chocolate, even a hint of whiskey.
Em & Lo:What’s your favorite tip to improve kissing?
Violet Blue: Practice! And kiss the way you want to be kissed. Also, keep good oral hygiene, practice on the sensitive palm of your (clean) hand to get a sense of sensation, remember to slow down (but don’t hold still; limp kissing is a common problem), don’t forget about the rest of your body, use your hands for affection, and learn to trust yourself to let go and really pour your passion into it once you get going.
Em & Lo: What are some of the worst kissing faux-pas? (…read more, sundancechannel.com)
