A very Sasi birthday gift :)

41 pieces of BRILLIANCE put forth by a DARING and DELIGHTFUL reader

0912080014.jpg

As many of you know, my birthday is at the end of the month — and Babeland let me pick four toys (one a week) as presents! I could have picked more, but chose certain ones so I could tell you about them; a toy review of sorts, but more information than opinion. This week I got a SaSi by Je Joue — they really spoiled me with this one! It’s a hand-held, non-penetrative vibe made of silicone, at the top of the list for most hygienic sex toy materials, ever.

But what’s so great about it? It’s ergonomically shaped (being a blogger makes my mouse-hand cramp if I have to, um, grip poles for too long). It’s got vibration and undulation under the silky silicone — and not only is it programmable so you can “teach” it what patterns and intensities you like in sequence, but it also has a memory. It “learns” and “remembers”. Which all explains the scary price tag, but I think it’s extra-fabulous because it’s rechargeable. No batteries, no battery waste in the landfill. Overall, a smart, kickass toy. Thank you, Babeland! I can only imagine how much fun two people could have with this on a pre-programmed tryst…

This Week’s Birthday Contest

For my birthday (on the 22nd, wish list here if ya wanna), Babeland offered me more toys, but I picked four I really desired, and wanted to give the others to you. So far, we have three happy winners with toys on the way. Thank you, Babeland. And dear readers — it’s my b-day, and I love you. So there.

Prizes that the winner can pick from include: the Pure Wand; Slimline Vibe; Maven Sleeve; Hitachi Magic Wand, or a Fukuoku 9000. You win, you get to pick one of the above. One winner will be selected by me. Or maybe two if you make me shriek and recoil with horror and fascination. Babeland will ship the toy to you, discreetly and privately, of course. Caveat: they won’t ship internationally, but I will — if you win and live outside the US, I’ll ship it to you.

The contest: find me the world’s SCARIEST sex toy you can find on the internet. Must be an item intended for sexual pleasure; scary sex toys currently available for purchase are a plus. Leave a link or available information in the comments here or email me directly at violet at tinynibbles dot com by the end of Monday, September 15th. Happy hunting!

Share This Post

You might also like:

41 Comments - COMMENTARY is DESIRED

  1. Mikki · Edit

    Wonderful toys! I bought the Neo and Magic and I’m working my way up to the Vixen. These are by far the highest quality, unique and satisfying toys I’ve found. I’m sensitive to most materials and the Elypseart toys do not smell at all. I highly recommend these, worth every penny.

  3. jimmayhugh · Edit

    Well I just had an interesting experience with babeland.

    On 09/17 I ordered about $200 worth of items and put it on my debit card, and got my confirmation from babeland.

    Today I look at my debit card balance, and babeland had basically tied up ALL of the funds in the account by posting multiple authorizations for the $200 charge.

    When i spoke to Vanessa at babeland, she told me that there was nothing she could do about it, I’d have to wait until the product shipped, and then the other authorizations would expire in about 3-4 days. In the meantime, I’ve lost access to over $600 of my money.

    I contacted the debit card’s customer service department and was informed by Matt that babeland had done a total of NINE authorizations, and the only reason that four were showing was that any one of the other five exceeded the balance in my account, and was rejected. Lucky for me this is a “Mad Money” account. Matt was kind enough to remove three of the four authorizations, but warned me that that might not prevent babeland from attempting further authorizations.

    I called babeland back and cancelled the order. Vanessa seemed unconcerned.

    They may be a great company, and have great products, but until they get their online processing fixed, I won’t be ordering from them.

  6. violet · Edit

    catching up on my anon submissions via email… anon scariness via email exhibit J:

    This whole site has some seriously scary choices! I’ve chosen the sex toys a la pumpkin to coincide with the obvious upcoming Halloween festivities! I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to carve a pumpkin the same way again…

    So the main site is http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com and the halloween choices are here http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/halloween/ Out of all the possibilities I’m having a hard time choosing the scariest, but I think I’m going to go with this one http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/halloween/latex.html I’m not a guy but the thought of sticking my cock in a glove filled with pumpkin guts (seeds included OUCH!) would make me pretty damn scared!

  8. willowfinn · Edit

    This is pretty standard issue, but I find the extreme diameter rather horrifying. http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-ream-and-scream-butt-plug_1898.html

    And then there’s the species-traitor robot lover’s dream come true:
    http://www.slashdong.org/archives/2008/04/too-much-information-about-the-interactive-fleshlight.php

    And lastly, the original patent design for a device which may or may not be available for purchase…
    http://www.google.com/patents?vid=USPAT6056705

    After glancing through everyone else’s submissions, I’m feeling both impressed and kinda grimy. I’m gonna go have a shower and play with the most wholesome sex toy of all — the shower head! ;)

  13. violet · Edit

    anon scariness via email exhibit I:

    Oh man. Others have already covered some of the best ones, but here are a few more…

    http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/realistic-dildos/realistic-kong Everything is fine until you get to that little patch of fake pubic hair.

    Then there’s this http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/classic-dildos-and-dongs/raging-manhandler and his friend, http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/classic-dildos-and-dongs/the-hard-rammer . Nothing like a cock sword!

    http://www.edenfantasys.com/vibrators/double-penetration/scorpion Because who DOESN’T want to be penetrated by a scorpion… twice.

    And lastly: http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/strap-on-dildos/hawaiian-dreams-dildo It’s like being in Hawaii and being fucked?

    Guess it depends on your definition of “scary”…

  18. Curvaceous Dee · Edit

    The ‘Lip Smacking Hand Job’ had me cringing in fear just looking at it, but the text used to tempt buyers is worse: ‘Made from the famous love clone super real material you will experience a most tantalizing lip smacking hand job. Has finger loops so you wont loose your grip on this baby as you get blown into ecstasy!’ Eep!
    http://www.nzadulttoys.co.nz/webapps/site/66330/76020/shopping/shopping-view.html?pid=280856&b_id=&find_groupid=8952

    xx Dee

  20. Elizabeth · Edit

    Here’s a household accident waiting to happen: a sex toy attachment for your vacuum cleaner.

    http://www.vortexvibrations.com

    This whole site must be seen to be believed. Maybe I’ll just let them explain.

    http://www.vortexvibrations.com/howitworks.html

    “HOW DOES IT WORK?

    Vortex Vibrations utilizes the power of a household vacuum.
    Place over clitoris against the labia.
    Suction will immediately increase blood flow to the clitoris
    causing it to enlarge and become sensitive. This will lead to arousal even if you are not aroused. Move the slider down and the clitoris ITSELF starts to vibrate & flutter like a reed in a saxophone.
    Adjust slider, and the airflow will increase or decrease the rate of vibration. Now hold on!”

    Sigh, my mind reels with the possibilities for dangerous humiliation: the “Introducer” beginner’s unit that promises extra suction, the mysterious Styrolux material, the recommendations regarding power differences among different vacuum cleaners (and the way the user is supposed to know which one is best for her needs offhand).
    But hey, what do I know? Apparently, vacuum cleaner + delicate female genitalia = rockin’ good time!

  21. violet · Edit

    anon scariness via email exhibit G:

    I have three links to submit. I didin’t fish through the other posts for the contest, so I’m sure some have been already posted.

    1. Bad Vibes talking Vibrator, I mean talking… wtf. To me, the idea of it is like using your/a kid’s toy, and arguing with your inanimate method of release at the same time.

    http://www.funponsel.com/blog/archives/2007/05/16/bad-vibes-talking-vibrator/

    2. Classic hand crank vibes from the 30’s. My hands cramp just thinking about them.

    http://www.vibratormuseum.com/handcrank/index.html

    3. lastly the Tingletip Vibrator, Scary because you convert your electric tooth brush to use it.

    http://www.tingletip.com/

    I hope you find these as scary as I do.

  22. Autumn · Edit

    My Birthday is on Monday! (sept 15th). Woo, I hope that gives me some luck.
    Jap Sex toys can be both amazing, sexy, highly creative, and down right scary. A few are below..

    This blog has a few images from a few interesting toy stores.
    http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2007/06/more-curiosities-from-japans-porno.html

    http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/pink-japanese-blowjob-machine-249962.php

    https://gloriabrame.typepad.com/inside_the_mind_of_gloria/images/2008/03/29/handjobometer.jpg

    On another note!
    I’m a cat girl, no dogs here, but this is kinda cute. Teh Puppy sex toy!!
    https://slog.thestranger.com/files/2007/07/sex-toy-for-dogs.jpg

  23. Ewan · Edit

    Clearly it didn’t work last time so

    It looks more like some sort of medieval weapon than an implement of pleasure
    http://www.dildobrutality.dk/wp-content/uploads/2006/05/Hot%20babe%20loves%20dildo%20warmups_x3.jpg

    Good to know the Predator made it into porn after the films
    http://www.sexinmoonlight.com/sex_toys/adult_toys8/Blonde_mature_whore_punctured_hard.html

    for that Hotdog left in the sun look
    http://www.crazy-ass-sex-toys.com/images//doubledong.jpg

    This is just terrifying Word don’t do it justice
    http://www.motorfun.biz/pegasus.html

    Anything from Genki Genki would probably fit into this category as well.

  29. violet · Edit

    anon scariness via email exhibit B:

    “This is the scariest sex toy I have seen, which I found with some really imaginative (for me, that is) Google searches. I assume this isn’t scary to the folks who are animal lovers, but I personally found it scary and intriguing. Mostly scary though.

    http://elypseart.com/

    And if it isn’t cheating to send two, here is another one that made me (and my male friends) shudder:

    http://www.forafters.co.uk/Products/Dr-Joel-Prostate-Probe.html

    Have fun, and thanks very much for the cool website, Violet!”

  33. Scorcha · Edit

    Jane, I must disagree. This tops tentacles any day of the week, especially in the ‘red velvet’ option-
    http://whipspiderrubberworks.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=21&products_id=30

    The ‘stache on Mr. Jack and shape of the chin will give me nightmares -not to speak of the prongs in the mouth-
    http://www.crazy-ass-sex-toys.com/masturbation.htm

    But the creep factor is highest here, as she has no arms! And you can customize her to have no legs, if you’re just not into the whole ‘limb’ thing. Plus the world’s worst fake vagina design ever (wtf are those strings?)
    http://www.dekunoboo.com/mnguri.html

Post Comment