Dark elf sex needed on Craigslist SF-Bay Area

Image by orangeglad.

The comment on the above image was, “Why are dark elves such porn stars?” What a really good question. Um… I bring to you, dear readers on this dark and stormy San Francisco night, a Craigslist ad (currently live) that’s been pulled no less than twice now and has to be one of the most entertaining works of sexual fantasy I’ve ever read on the site. I’ve reposted it here in full because you know it’ll get yanked again (and I think it’s from the same person who did the forced zombie sex CL ad last March 2007). I also included their accompanying images after the jump. God I love this town:

SF bay area craigslist > san francisco > casual encounters
Curvy dark-elf beauty for likeminded tormentors – t4ww – 25
Reply to: pers-901446887@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-01, 3:42AM PDT

My ad has been flagged twice, now, and I can only imagine that this is because it is off the wall. Look, masses of Craigslist; I *know* my ad is ridiculous. I *know* it’s off the wall. That’s why I am forced to look for what I want on CRAIGSLIST and not at Zeitgeist, okay? Chill out.

Well, now that I’ve run just about everyone off by title alone, hello! You may remember me from last year’s post where I was looking for some congealed, cold-blooded undead love. Unfortunately, my request for zombie sex was denied, despite the attention it received, and I was left in the dark. Well, that’s okay, loves, because in this scenario, the dark is where I’m coming from.

I am as jaded with sex as I’ve ever been. Porn, public sex, orgies — they’ve all run dry as a font for pleasure, and I’ve nothing left to gain from them. Even roleplay tends to leave me cool, as it’s usually something trite and boring, like playing boss and secretary, or brother and sister. Incest is dull when it’s not real incest.

For a while, I explored the taboo. Bondage! S&M! Even interracial sex, the ultimate taboo for a girl who was originally raised a Southern Belle, isn’t particularly more thrilling than sleeping with anyone else. If only there were some way to combine the three under some new, unique and fun umbrella…

~~

It’s a cold night outside of your village, which has been raided countless times in recent memory. Those not of immediately noble blood are usually trained for the local militia simply out of necessity for survival, and even among the mages who stay in back, dressed in enchanted, woven silks to support those in melee, the deaths have been numerous. Many of your friends and even some of your family have been ruthlessly, heartlessly murdered, and those are the lucky ones. Worse are the ones who have been captured alive, tortured and beaten into servitude, left to live their centuries-long lifespans out without ever feeling the warmth of the sun on their flesh once more, or the cool air, fresh and renewed for Spring, bringing life back to the lands. They will suffer, and toil, and eventually wither and die in the Underdark, never to be seen again. Maybe if they’re lucky, the mindflayers will get them, and then at least they won’t know the true extent of their misery. Tonight, you’ve been expecting a raiding party, and this time, the village elders think you may be ready. Back in the courts, others anxiously await word of the results. Perhaps preparation will spare you, this night, as some of you crouch in wait, whispering prayers to Corellon Larethian, and othes of your comrades murmur, heads-bowed, in respect to Sehanine Moonbow, who thwarted the traitor, Araushnee, now known as Lolth the Hunted…

A single scout, I creep up silently to the surface in the cover of night, my ebon-black skin melded with the shadow around me. My silver-white hair, limp and woven as delicately as a spider’s web, reflects the tiniest bit of what little there is from the stars above that makes it through the trees. Maybe it’s the snap of a twig underfoot, in such unfamiliar territory, or perhaps it is my eyes that give me away, their crimson glow burning with hatred and contempt that mirrors the sneer smeared across my lips, unable to be hidden each and every time I think of how much I loathe and disgust your kind. Rothe, to be slaughtered and herded for the glory of Lloth. Tonight I am to find your village’s walls and report back, so that we may have an even bloodier massacre than usual. My kind tire of allowing you to breathe.

Tonight, with the quarter moon up in the sky, it must the First of the Seldarine who lends you such a blessing, for you and your friends now have the opportunity to engage in an opportunity that rarely presents itself.

Vengeance.

~~

Requirements for this scene:

Be attractive. Elves are known for their beauty, and while this may be shallow, please understand I’m only attracted to the types of people I’m attracted to, you know? I’m NOT only looking for models, here, but please be comfortable and confident in your skin. A charisma of 14 or higher is fine.

Know your role. I want people who are familiar with the setting, and know, deep down in their hearts, that they do this for the good of their people. Feel the rage that you should surely be able to taste in the back of your throat, a deep-seated fury at what’s been done to your kind at the black-skinned hands of these wretched tormentors. A plague that won’t just go away and be forgotten. I want you to know the history between our peoples, and bonus points if you can speak a word or two of elvish that can be used to slur and insult me once you have me captured and bound for humiliation and torment.

Don’t be shy. I’m not mentally (or, perhaps more accurately, socially) handicapped – I realize that what I’m asking for is *ridiculous*. That’s okay. Be able to take it seriously so that we can all benefit from the shared thematic roleplay we’re engaging in. Don’t break character just because it’s silly. We all know it’s silly, but it’s the willing suspension of disbelief that makes roleplay such a fun and powerful tool.

About me:

I am 5’6″ to 5’7″, which, while tall for a Drow, is something we can still work with. I am a 32DD-26-30, a truly comely figure that’s befitting of my +2 bonus to Charisma. I am also a shemale (perhaps this is why I was sent alone to the surface as a scout? A male would surely fail, worms as they are, and a female’s life is too important to waste on something so likely to fail), which, while this may be new to you, is probably something we can all work with. After all, it’s more about the *scene* than any individual trait that one of us possesses, yes?

I am mostly looking for *OTHER WOMEN*, because those are the types of people I am attracted to. I find consentual female-on-female humiliation and violence far more attractive than male-on-female types of the same, but since this is a group, other genders along the spectrum are welcome to be considered. To that end, some tags are at the bottom of this post but not the top.

Pictures of myself, for obvious reasons, are not included with this ad (humiliation is best saved for *sex*, not day to day interactions, after all), but are more than welcome to be asked for if you reciprocate in kind, which I would expect.

Let’s see what the night holds, shall we?

~ t4m t4mw t4w