Getting ready for SXSW: Austin, Texas = tomorrow

Image of *exactly* what it looks like when I Twitter, but it’s actually Miss Carcinogen by Richard Kadrey / Kaos Beauty Klinik.

Tonight I pack, tomorrow I get on the plane for Austin, Texas to spend a lovely weekend at the SXSWi conference. I will be staying with the lovely Miss Ariel Waldman in a hotel with a pool and we have our bikinis and a camera with a remote and a tripod. On Monday, I will be giving a very serious-face presentation about online sexuality, legalities, being safe, protecting yourself when you come under sexual attack online and off, and I’ll illustrate exactly why social networks need to see that the corollaries between sexual harassment online and offline exist. They are real and they must be — and can be — addressed to protect the networks and the users. I consulted an HR professional, several lawyers, a couple “Doe” cases, and people in the midst of sexual harassment. The talk is called Sexual Exploitation, Sexual Expression and Self-Defense, it is Monday at 5pm, and I plan to actively involve the audience. Come and get your questions answered, join the conversation, and I will wow and amaze you. At least with my sock garters, if not my throbbing brain. Here’s the talk description:

Sexual exploitation and sexual expression are inherent in everyone’s online experiences, whether intentional or not. Bloggers, community site users, community managers, web celebs — everyone will eventually face a sexuality-related crisis where knowing the difference, and how to protect yourself is crucial. From the personal to the professional, we will demonstrate and discuss instances, legal realities and tactics for survival and success. We’ll also cover the import and impact of the Lori Drew/MySpace Suicide trial (where Drew was convicted of a federal misdemeanor for violating MySpace’s terms of service in order to bully a teenager), Missouri and California’s new cyberbullying laws — and how it all applies to sexual expression and sexual attacks for individuals and social network websites.

Before that, I plan on sexually exploiting Austin, Texas. I will have a lot of help. The day I land, I’m finding Jiz Lee and her gang, and meeting up with friends at Pastries and Pasties to kick off the weekend. Don’t come. I want the girls all to myself. I will photo and livestream, oh don’t you worry. I’m especially excited to check out the stars of the Austin burlesque scene who will be performing: Kitty Kitty Bang Bang, Big Star Burlesque and The Jigglewatts, seen below:

Image by NoNo Joe.

The rest of the weekend will be for troublemaking. I know for sure I’m meeting Martin Whitmore (Tasty Flesh) in the, uh, flesh and some luminaries are on the menu as well. I can’t wait to get drunk with Steve Hall (again). Scott is already there and testing out the new Ginger Man pub location for our joint approval. If I see Leo Laporte I will chase him down and lick his face and livestream it. If I see someone who hates me, I will film them and giggle. If I see The Ninja I will try to hump his leg like I did last year (not), but he will probably kill me because that is what he does. When I see Kevin Rose, I will get a sweet hug like always. I may make a music video, because we were all supposed to be in it originally but the planning fell through. Except I don’t want an iPhone.

Mostly I plan to have fun and be a dork, because SXSW is just like the internet but it’s in real life. There is a team of half-nude cheerleaders that are going to greet me at the airport and be my bodyguards until the drag queens take the night shifts. I’ll also be a thorn in the side of Eddie and Irina as they do TechCab Confessions (I’ll ride, oh yes) and we might pull in some VB – GETV while we’re at it.

My Twitter will be very noisy this weekend: follow if you want (yay), but I won’t sweat it if you drop me. If you want to play along at home, here are the keys to my liveblogging kingdom:

* follow my Twitter (sponsor: Virgin Helio)
* watch my live videos either through my Twitter stream or see them on my Qik channel (sponsor: Qik)
* my Flickr will get live photos with my delicious Nokia N-95-4 (sponsor: Nokia)
* if I get kicked off Qik for being dirty, don’t forget my 12seconds channel where they are very patient with my antics
* I want to sincerely thank the anonymous sponsor who made my trip to do this talk possible. He mostly wants to see this talk make a difference, and I will not disappoint him, or the people who need it. (And he will simultaneously enjoy my multimedia ADD.)

Oh, and I’ll be blogging here, too. Come with me.