Image by CoreForce.
This week’s San Francisco Chronicle column is a brief and ridiculous history of people trying to make the iPhone into a sex toy, sex phone apps, and a mixture of dismay, bemusement, hope for the Android, and a sigh of resignation that no one’s going to be imaginative enough to really make a hot/fun/exciting sex app in a market that’s thriving on application creation. Here’s a snip from The Dildroid: Violet Blue – Still waiting for the future of phone sex:
I got all excited when I saw the first leaked video of the Android phone’s capabilities. The GPS map features I saw sent more than tingles up my spine; like many phone fetishists, those feelings were a mind-body combination of ongoing sensations I’d only read about in Tantric Sex manuals — for men.
The same orgasmic euphoria took my senses into erotic overdrive when the iPhone was announced. In my “How to Seduce a Mac Geek: A Macworld Sex Guide” primer I not only timed it with the shuddering, have-a-cigarette-afterward release of the holy phone, I was also careful to remind Apple sin-thusiasts that the iPhone, despite all suggestions from Windows users, was not actually anal-safe.
Still, if there’s new tech, humans are guaranteed to sexualize it — regardless of whether it’s even got a skill to pay the bills, or the app to make her booty go “clap!” The iPhone came first, (and the fans came right after) but it didn’t have enough bump and grind to do much more than let you make DIY dirty desktops, or go (on a) porn surfing Safari really slowly, on Edge’s ‘forever foreplay.’ Meanwhile, other phones were handing out speedy 3G-gasms left and right.
Yet many endeavored to shoot some adult content onto phones; Digita Publications (digitapub.com) made sex-drenched e-books just for the iPhone and iPod Touch, while others made clunky web apps that were nowhere near actually getting a girl off, even though they tried to let you get your touch-screen jollies via the RubMyClit 2.0 (rubmyclit.ratethatthing. com, link NSFW). Sadly, the illustration for RubMyClit 2.0 was about as appealing as the notion of sex with the dinosaur-era newspaper cartoon character, Cathy. And we all know what happened to “2.0.” Although it was the first application (non-Apple, of course) to take advantage of the touch screen, it was guaranteed to get you hot and bothered — if only for facing the task of having to clean your smudgy fingerprints off the screen yet again.
Still, “iPhone porn” is just marketing hype. When the iPhone came out there was the aforementioned hardcore wallpaper option, (be careful not to answer your phone at work) plus the fact that anyone can import iTunes videos onto an iPhone — including plain old QuickTime videos. Not perfect, but I still appreciate any means by which I can take my favorite smut with me on a fancy gadget wherever I go. Besides, hype is pretty much what the iPhone and by extension, the Android, is all about. (…read more, sfgate.com)
>>>>>And why would
anyone want to use a phone as a sex toy when there are so many sex toys
It’s just for fun, I would be surprised if anyone actually used it. I think you would have to be pretty desperate to rub out a quickie with your phone. :) I had a vibrator application made for the Blackberry just for fun. Was shocked when it had more than 15K downloads in just 10 days.
http://toywithme.com/fun-accessories/turn-your-blackberry-into-a-vibrator/
Have to agree with Mitch. It’s a poor platform for porn. However, it might be a GREAT one for finding and arranging hookups..
Doesn’t it vibrate??????!
Who cares about porn for the iPhone? Porn is best viewed in private on a
decent sized monitor. Most people aren’t comfortable looking at it in public,
so there’s no need for it to be viewable on a portable device. And why would
anyone want to use a phone as a sex toy when there are so many sex toys
that are much better suited to that purpose.