Consumer Reports is such a tease. I’ve always wanted to be the host of a sex Mythbusters. Or host a “how things are made” show for sex. Or the host of a Consumer Reports for sex show. So when CR does anything about sex, I get all rosy-cheeked and excited. I only wish that in CR’s new condom ratings tests and findings, they didn’t have to frame the discussion around condoms in a conception context: it’s also about STD/STI’s and pleasure, my dear friends at CR. Since I know it’s going to be a long time until we see condoms rated for pleasure, I really have to admire the fantastic — and playful — job they did rating 15,000 condoms. Fun! For Consumer reports’ new November issue, they did an extensive lab test on condoms. A CR “mystery shopper” bought more than 15,000 condoms (yes, one guy, 15,000 condoms) for testing in the CR lab. Lab technicians then unrolled them, stretched them, measured them, visually examined them, dunked them in liquid (to check for leaks), and inflated them with air until they burst to determine which ones are strong enough to put your trust (or you, or your lover) into. Who is this fabulous mystery man!? Can we now stalk him on Twitter?
Anyway, CR gave me a link to their health blog entry with more details on the tests: It’s tough being perfect, but we found 7 condoms that are. They reveal that, “Those top seven include one Durex, two Lifestyles, and four Trojan models” (and they don’t say it, but that’s in order, dear readers). They also — frustratingly — gave me a password to view the subscribers’ only results of which condoms they tested and the results but told me I could not reproduce the findings. ARGH! I will tell you one thing I saw, however and hope it’s not a breach of their request: never, ever, ever use glow in the dark condoms. I’ll also add that I’m dismayed to see the best performers in their stress tests are condom lines that have additives and desensitizing lubricants on them: they’re apparently rated for performance, not body safety.
Big thanks to Consumer Reports for reaching out and sharing the data with me! It’s a great feature.
It greatly irritates me when I read about “perfect” or “best” condoms. They may be reliable, but they are certainly not perfect. I have extremely sensitive skin (Hydra-Smooth makes me uncomfortable) so finding a reliable condom without additives or desensitizers has been a huge issue for me. I end up having to bite the bullet and purchase condoms with additives because the stores in my area do not stock non-lubricated versions. I wish I had better options. Although more products are being produced with the woman in mind, I think condoms have a long way to go before they cater equally to both male and female consumers.
The good thing about Consumer Reports is that the “best” condom will publicly claim to be rated #1 giving you the opportunity to point out the health concerns that are attached to desensitizing cremes and N9 vaginal wall tearing, chemical sensitivities and all.
Doesn’t sound like Consume report did an optimal study. I’d imagine the major condom manufacturers look more into things (and feedback migh be a much better indicator or reliability than just inflating a condom.)
when was the last time a cock swelled up 20 times it’s size beore ejaculating? I’d take a guess and say the possibility of shear isn’t necessarily linked to inflation test strength. An ill fitted or shaped condom will cause more problems.
In the end I’d imagine (know the condom breaks I’ve had have been down to that, and they’ve been from a v reputable known brand).
Seeing as in the uk you’ve got CE and independent testing, to miss the pleasure side is to miss the point. But then readers here will know how to find more information!
I agree. it’s very difficult to me not to publish the results, but I was explicitly asked not to, and trusted with a password. it goes against my open source sex values, yet I value and honor trust agreements. I am deeply conflicted. and that’s also why I had to do the post. part of me was going to ignore the email and user/pass since I couldn’t share the data. my usual ethos is, “well if it’s exclusive, then fuck you — you don’t get the firehose of traffic.” but then again, I’m a punk who thinks everything of sex ed, sex info and sex health should be free. everyone should see these results; and with a critical eye like mine to explain the context, too — the #1 condom has desensitizing lubricant, which is seriously unsafe.
but I can only ‘play the game within the lines’ here, insofar as telling you which condom that is because I learned about it in the context of a trusted password. on the other hand, I’d go to jail to protect the privacy of my readers if need be. so trust and loyalty are serious values in this little office. rrgh.
then again, I don’t know what their policy is regarding subscribers blogging about the results.
I’m a Consumer Reports subscriber and it bugs me that they wouldn’t let you give out the results. In most cases I understand the reasoning but this isn’t really testing to see which product is the best value; its testing to see which products are safe. When it comes to basic safety, I don’t think that knowledge should be held behind pay walls, every needs access to it.