The five most dangerous sex positions

How nice. “For Valentine’s Day, here is a couple’s guide to 5 sex positions that will sooner lead to sprained muscles and torn ligaments than to orgasm. Enjoy.” It’s The Five Most Dangerous Sex Positions and How To Do Them (ranker.com). Ouch.

But perhaps it does not hurt as much as the Scout Walker Kama Sutra (image below), which is mostly just painfully nerdy (scoutwalker.com). Pictured above: from the Oral Sex chapter, The Coral and The Jewel. “From the receiving AT-ST’s point of view this is an excellent experience. With leg stirrups disengaged and their head resting between their legs they can concentrate on the full range of sensations being supplied by their partner. Note the careful positioning of their side turrets – pointing away from their feet and towards the ground – to avoid any injury to themselves or their partner in case they loose [SIC] control of themselves and start blasting away.”

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