Deconstructing Christina Aguilera’s sex accessories

For the past month, Christina Aguilera has been slowly trickling out artwork and teaser hints about her next album, Bionic. In the few images we’ve seen, she’s in some serious fetish gear; one image has her in a black latex vintage-style girdle. Which, by the way, is certainly custom-made because it isn’t easy to find a full, vintage-style latex girdle with garters like hers, believe it or not. I’ve looked. But it’s the promo photo above that intrigued me, and the most recent press that accompanies it. In an interview this week, Aguilera told paps she’s been reading erotica in the bathtub — of course I was hoping for some familiar titles — and goes on to say that the books are waterproof. That narrows down Christina’s self-titillating reading selections to only two books: Aqua Erotica: 18 Stories for a Steamy Bath and Wet: More Aqua Erotica (out of print). Aqua Erotica is like a million years old, so it seems an odd choice. Cleis Press should send her some of my new titles; looking at her choice of top-shelf sex accessories I think she’d get a lot more mileage out of Girls On Top, even if it’s plain old paper (until Amazon releases a waterproof Kindle, that is). Because in the photo above, she’s flashing a very sophisticated sex toy: in her hand is a $1,5000.00 silver handjob ring for men, the Betony Vernon Petting Ring. “It is a double ring that holds the index finger and thumb in the chi mudra position; the gesture used in meditation for a one-pointed mind and for a perfect hand job as well.”

Well okay, then. I’ll check out Christina’s new album.