In case you’re wondering why it’s dangerous to put loaded science in the hands of journalistic toddlers, the article Why Macho Men Are More Likely to Have Safe Sex at The Daily Mail is a perfect example.
I know, I know, all my UK friends keep telling me: “Don’t read bloody The Daily Mail.” Sometimes I can’t help myself.
This past Sunday they published that article, which is a retread of the Live Science article about Sari van Anders’ study at the University of Michigan “demonstrating” that there is a positive correlation between higher testosterone levels and more favorable attitudes toward safer sex. I’ve already expressed my opinion on the study, and I don’t like The Daily Mail‘s headline repeating Live Science’s equation of “testosterone = macho,” which is offensive and all too common, and their use of the term “responsible” in the URL — bleating the same mainstream-media association of condom use with responsibility that stinks of sex negativity and AIDS-paranoia. In the absence of risk evaluation, condom use is just one tool in what should be a very large safer sex toolbox.
But in The Daily Mail article there’s a sidebar so delightful that it can’t be ignored.
The Daily Mail basically repeats the Live Science article, almost verbatim but in abbreviated form. That leaves them plenty of room for this helpful sidebar:
UNHAPPY SIDE EFFECT OF TEENAGE SEX
Boys who have sex during adolescence could be stunting the growth of their man-hoods.
Researchers from Ohio State University said that being sexually active while the nervous system was still developing can be linked to ‘lasting effects on the body and mood.’
I don’t know about you, but I’m terrified. “‘Having a sexual experience early in life, is not without consequence,’ John Morris, a co-author of the study said.” I mean, this stuff is terrifying, right? Right:
The team studied sexually active hamsters at 40 days old – early teens in human terms – as well as in ‘adulthood,’ at 80 days.
The animals were chosen ‘because they have physiologic similarities to humans’.
Tests on the animals’ anxiety levels showed that the hamsters who were sexually active earlier had a smaller total body mass, and a decrease in reproductive tissue, as adults.
They were also more prone to depression and auto-immune problems.
[Link.]
So there you have it. What’s an appropriate sidebar on a piece about the risks of sex and how macho dudes put little rubber things over their John Thomases?
Run for the hills! Depression and stunted growth in hamsters who fuck!
With a headline that leads the reader to believe it’s a piece about humans.
Go ahead, say it again: “Don’t read The bloody Daily Mail.” But ignore this warning, and your hamsters will be depressed. Their growth may be stunted.
Worse, they may even have low testosterone levels…and we all know what that means.
Photo: hamster costume from The Flirt Catalog.
This says something about the UMich-Ohio State rivalry. I just don’t know what.